Abuse, emotional and physical III

Galatians 5:1 In the freedom of which Messiah has made us free, stand firm, then, and do not again be held with a yoke of slavery.

When I have the release to share more testimonies, I will in later postings.

Before the age of eighteen, I had met some strange man.  He seemed to be in a different world from where I came.  He was seven years older than me.  He took me ice skating, to shows and to places I never knew existed. After months of finally finding what seemed to be the joy and freedom away from home, we were married.  Sadly, that never lasted three months due to physical and emotional abuse.  He turned into Dr Jeckell instantly.  He came home drunk, beating me and hitting me all over my body.  I later heard he was womanising at parties.  I was left alone at home, had no car, no transport and knew no one.  Loneliness, has been a way of life for me.  I had left a home of disaster and found an avalanche of hatred and pain.  I landed up back at the house of horrors, with the family  a remorseful and hopeless soul.  I found out a member in the family had been unfaithful to me, telling my parents very untrue stories about me from the past and was an instrument to the separation and divorce of my second marriage, from which I have three beautiful children.  My parents believed everything, especially my dad.  No one will know, except my Creator, how much I was hated in the family.  When I moved to the W Cape, my sibling told me I was not welcome.  I have forgiven that person, but I cannot place myself back into that dysfunctional relationship.  There have been threats of calling my husband to tell him what kind of a person he has married.  I felt like David on the run from King Saul, who just wanted to destroy life.  As well as every bit of joy my Abba had blessed me with.

I know my King wanted me in the W Cape, as He led me to my loving  husband of 16yrs – till now,  was going to be.  Read my writing   A New Door in Faith – My husband Part I

A New Door in Faith – My husband Part II


When I was going through healing and restoration, I had to stand, having done all and not let the enemy take my joy and deliverance.  Time and again,  I was being tested for my trust.  When someone passed unkind comments, I just threw those words into the fire of the Ruach.  No thank you enemy, that’s yours and not from my King.  I kept my heart close to His Word.  Just telling myself, that Abba through Yeshua, has caused me to dance, tearing off all my sackcloth, He made me glad.  I will rejoice for He has made me glad.

Psalm 30:11  You have turned my mourning into dancing for me;  you have torn off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
I can see how YaHUShA has kept me completely safe!  Praise His blessed Name! He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy / Debarim 31:8 “And it is YHWH who is going before you, He Himself is with you. He does not fail you nor forsake you. Do not fear nor be discouraged.

Forgiveness is powerful!  It’s not to get you to let go of the person who abused you – just to go back to the same abuse.  No!  Forgiveness is asking YaHUShA to take your pain and give you His insight into being set free, forever.  I did not find it easy to forgive those who hurt me so much.  It’s a terrible feeling thinking you may be opening yourself to more hurt.  NO … From the moment you forgive, your chains are broken and crushed !!  Your spiritual insight, no matter what age, is given you, to use at YOUR will.  I chose to forgive and work on restoring my heart and soul.  Clearing out the clutter of pain one step at a time.  So my journey began, days after days, weeks after weeks, months after months and years after years.  I kept looking ahead and refused to let those experiences control my thoughts.  Your thought life has a lot to answer for.  Keep your thoughts pure. I kept flooding my heart and soul with strong words of victory.  I am going to share as many scriptures with you.

photo-1482776651557-b753093333fd  photo: unsplash.com

Psalms 107:14   He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,  And He broke their chains in pieces.

I had to let go one pain at a time, replacing it with His love and Scripture.  Firstly I was not perfect.  Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  This was a tough scripture in the beginning.  So in my prayer closet, I would start with a list, a list the Ruach gave me.  A list of people’s names would start coming into my mind and I wrote them down,  as well as what they did to me and what I had done to forgive them. Finally, I asked myself, how would I want to show them the love of YaHUShA?  I would enter into praise and worship alone, going right before the Presence of Abba before and after my prayers.  Sometimes, all I did was worship my Awesome Saviour.

Matthew 6:14    “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father shall also forgive you.

Well yes, I will forgive them, but I don’t abuse people, beat them for no good reason??  I didn’t leave people alone in the dark??   No … not a good enough answer.  SIN is sin is SIN !   Although there are far greater sins and far less little sins, sin is sin.  So we are not blameless, not one of us.  Even so, we still, need to let go.  If I can share a true testimony – One I have shared before:    a man was found wrongfully guilty of raping a woman, because she could not identify the man who raped her,  she chose the wrong man in the witness line.  He spent 25yrs in prison and after a few months, he was exonerated and when he was set free, the woman who accused him, visited him and asked him to forgive her.  He had nothing against her and forgave her.  Forgave her for all those years away from his wife and family.  All those years he lost his good job and friends – sitting in a lonely prison cell.  How can I not forgive one who beat me up and left me alone?

So with the Truth, the Word, the Scriptures, I started to learn to write down in my heart His Truth and not the lies of the enemy.  A note book and pen will always help you remember.  The enemy will not leave you alone, of course he comes to steal kill and destroy, any of the good growth you have made.  Your notebook will be useful, as you remind the enemy how far you have come.  Fill your life with love!!

John 16:13  “But when He comes, the Spirit of the Truth, He shall guide you  into all the truth.  For He shall not speak from Himself, but whatever He hears He shall speak, and He shall announce to you what is to come.

As I was being led to read the scriptures,  ( again,  I am sharing with you, to write them down ) and work through all the difficulties,  I was able to gain ground ** of liberation in Jesus Messiah.  Praise our Glorious King!  Gaining ground in the spirit realm, will be explained in a post about intercessory prayer.      ** [ I will post the link here  “Intercessory Prayer” ] **    I have already started with my writing in draft.

Psalms 147:3   He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.

 Philippians 3:13 – 14   13  Brothers, I do not count myself to have laid hold of it yet, but only this: forgetting what is behind and reaching out for what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of Elohim in Messiah YaHUShA.

Daily I was able to be set free by the Set-apart Spirit, His speaking to me through reading the scriptures.  I started to Praise, Worship and be thankful for what YaHUShA had done for me.  He started to be my focal point and I set my goals on Him and what He has for me.  It started with Worship and a thankful heart.  He is my victory!  Be strong and be brave in Elohim, you have no need to fear.

Deuteronomy 20:4  for YaHUaH your Elohim is He who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you. ‘

Shemoth / Exodus 15:19 – 21   19  For the horses of Pharaoh went with his chariots and his horsemen into the sea, and YaHUaH brought back the waters of the sea upon them.  And the children of Yisra’el went on dry ground in the midst of the sea.  20  And Miryam the prophetess, the sister of Aharon, took the timbrel in her hand.  And all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances.  21  And Miryam answered them, “Sing to YaHUaH, for He is highly exalted!  The horse and it’s rider He has thrown into the sea.

“O I felt like Miryam !!” – I was no longer a slave to Pharaoh, his evil ones whipping me for no reason.


He will help you cross your Red Sea from overwhelming pain to healing, joy and love.  Yes He does that too, He makes a way for you!

Yeshayahu / Isaiah 43:16  Thus said YaHUaH, who makes a way in the sea and a path through the mighty waters,

You will forget,  YES … you will !

Isaiah 43:18 – 19  18 “Do not remember the former events, nor consider the events of old.  19  “See, I am doing what is new, let it now, spring forth.  Do you not know it?  I am even making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Deuteronomy 31:6  “Be strong and courageous, do not fear, nor be afraid of them.  For it is YaHUaH your Elohim who is going with you.  He does not fail you nor forsake you.”

John 8:36  “If, then, the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

Philippians 4:13  I have strength to do all, through Messiah who empowers me.

 Hebrews 13:6   so that we boldly say, YaHUaH is my helper, I shall not fear what man shall do to me.”

If we don’t know the truth how can we be set free, we perish from lack of knowledge.  If you learn how to drive a vehicle, you will then be given your licence upon successful test.  If you learn how to have victory over the enemy, you will be able to put it into practice and stand your ground, when being put to the test.

Hosea 4:6   “My people have perished for lack of knowledge.  Because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being priest for Me.

Psalm 119:105  Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Psalm 16:11   You show me the path of life;  In Your presence is joy to satisfaction;  At Your right hand are pleasures forever.

Psalm 46:1  Elohim is our refuge and strength,  A help in distress, soon found

Thank Abba Father for what He has done to help you, to protect you and to set you free.  For all the pain and destruction that He has delivered you from.  Never stop thanking Him, He provides us with everything we need.  He protects us.  I want to share  Psalm 23  and Psalm 91 with you.  I read Psalm 91 every night with my beloved husband, before retiring to bed.  Get it into your soul, write it on the tablets of your heart.  He honours His Word, so read it back to Him, sing His Word back to Him, in song and Praise.  When praying, be expectant for answers.  You can run boldly to the throne of favour and lay your burden at His feet, for His timely help.

1 Peter 5:7  casting all your worry upon Him, for He is concerned about you.

Hebrew 4:16   Therefore, let us come boldly to the throne of favour, in order to receive compassion, and find favour for timely help.

When I was fifteen years old, I gave my life to YaHUShA (Jesus). At that point in my life I began a long road of healing. Safe in the arms of His awesome love, I began releasing and forgiving.
It has taken years of healing to be set free – from the lack of knowledge and becoming victorious with tremendous insight and discernment. This came from reading the scriptures and developing by exercising my faith daily. I have grown in my relationship with Him and learned not to ever put my trust in man, no matter who it is.

Psalm 13:5 – 6   5  But I have trusted in Your kindness;  My heart rejoices in Your deliverance.  6  I sing to YaHUaH, because He has been good to me.

Psalm 9:10  And those who know Your Name trust in You, for You have not forsaken those who seek You, O YaHUaH .

Psalm 32:7      You are my hiding place, You preserve me from distress;  You surround me with songs of deliverance.  Selah

I pray that this helps to start the process, in your life, of working on your brokenness and open the doors for healing and deliverance one day at a time.  Don’t force anything about growing in His love.  With people around you, the weeding and tilling of the soil will begin and the seeds will be planted in your heart and the Holy, Set-apart Spirit will give much water for your growth. Surround yourself by believers for growth, you need His shinning Light.   Some fellowship via internet, email or the likes, this has become more predominant today, as this form of communication is far easier, when living so far apart.

I will write a lot more scripture, further about  Healing and deliverance …   in Part IV

Blessings Chayel !


‘I am not a teacher, my writings are from my heart.’


Abuse, emotional and physical Part I

Abuse, emotional and physical Part II

He loves you !

3 thoughts on “Abuse, emotional and physical III

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.