Abuse, emotional and physical Part II





I had to experience deliverance and victory!  That came from the exposure of darkness, through His marvelous Light.

 1 Peter 2:9   But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a set-apart nation, a people for a possession, that you should proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvellous light.

In my later years, it became known to me that I was spoken of as “the orphan”.   My home life was invaded by outbursts of violence and alcohol abuse.  As a little one, I fell asleep many nights holding my thumbs, curled in the foetal position and crying.  The never ending nights of never ending shouting.     One morning I heard shouting again, arguing and horrible words belting down the corridors of the house, dad had packed mom’s belongings in a trunk and threw it down the stairway from the back door.  He forced mom to leave.  She had gone for days, I did not know where my mom had gone.  I was as lost as a soul could get.  Years and years of smashing glass, items flying and one morning I walked into the kitchen and started yelling “stop it, please, stop it”  I could not take the pain anymore.  I was invisible and inaudible – no one looked at me.  They hated me and they did not care for my broken heart.

If I was not left in a car at night to sleep in the dark streets, I was miraculously left with a strange child sitter or slept at peoples houses I did not know.  I hated sleeping in the car, it made me feel more hated.  One night, calling from the car window,  I asked some people leaving the party, if they could please call my dad.   Looking at me utterly shocked that a little girl was left alone in a car out in the cold dark, they responded, “who is your daddy?”  I told them and my dad came out to the car, angry, he said “what do you want?” “The toilet” I responded with so much regret.  After being in the toilet, I could not pass water, for the dreaded look on that stern face, was too much for me to overlook.   He gave me a beating  and was furious for the unnecessary call.  I never called for my parents after that night.  I lay in the car on many a night, wondering when it would end.

I grew up not being able to appreciate inter-relationship with those in authority over me and would rather avoid them where possible.  The ‘silence treatment’  could be so deafening. I longed to be hugged and told I was dearly loved.

I am old now –  those days of pain have gone … my Abba has brought me to His ever-loving home, His Kingdom.

O how good it is to have a Father, a Pappa who loves you!

John 14:18  “I shall not leave you orphans – I am coming to you.     Oh  HalleluYAH my King YaHUShA  Jesus.

I am sharing my testimonies with you, in the light of ultimately giving you a window into my soul, of how I actually overcame, step at a time with our YaHUShA,   holding my hand.  I know I had the Set-apart Spirit with me, there is no other way possible to overcome without His power, His tender, but protective power.  There is no format, nor step to step lesson or any counseling in this world that will set us free from the works of the enemy.  It can only happen when we submit ourselves to His Set-apart Spirit.

HalleluYah for His blessed Assurance, YaHUShA our Redeemer.  In my recent post,           Memoirs of my earlier days Part I

I write about my experience, when my Granny told me that Jesus died for me.  I sobbed heartsore tears, I had a love overwhelm me like none I ever knew.  Every single person on this earth, has the complete chance and opportunity to experience, what I did.  It’s what you do with His Name and what He did for you.  Even as a child, it is REAL!  There is NOTHING impossible for Elohim.  I have seen many children give their life to Jesus, right in front of my physical eyes, it was not just a fun thing and everyone did it.  No, some parents were coming to me,  telling me their child has changed and something is different about them.  Other teachers were told the exact thing.  It was through their children some parents came to church eventually and received Jesus as their wonderful Saviour and Redeemer.  The parents who just dropped their little ones off at Children’s Church and came later to collect them.   Praise Jesus, our Beloved YaHUShA Mashiach!  Some He will call when they are old, some in a rebellious teenage rage or a bout of drug addiction.  We need to be willing.

Matthew 11:28 – 30   28  “Come to Me, all you who labour and are burdened, and I shall give you rest.  29  “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble in heart, and you shall find rest for your beings.”  30  “For My yoke is gentle and My burden is light.”

People who are burdened, are so weighed down by pressures of this world.  We don’t have to carry around ‘baggage’ ‘bondage’ ‘slavery’ – such as, hurt, pain, sadness, confusion and lack of confidence, fear, sorrow, manipulation and control,  how about unforgiveness or rejection shown to you.  Lay your burdens down and cast all your cares on Him.

1 Peter 5:6 – 7   Humble yourselves, then, under the mighty hand of Elohim, so that He exalts you in due time,  7  casting all your worry upon Him, for He is concerned about you.

I taught the children a song, as I led them to Abba Father and into His loving presence, in worship, “I cast all my cares upon You.”  “I lay all my burdens down at Your feet and anytime, anyhow, when I don’t know what to do, I just cast all my cares upon You.”           I can see their little faces, eyes closed and hands lifted up in faith.  Faith like a child. They loved praise and worship, they were excited and yet tender of heart.  The Bible stories and teachings, that were shared with them, brought change in their lives, as we witnessed their true growth in the Set-apart Spirit.

Matthew 18:1  – 6   1  At that time the taught ones came to YaHUShA, saying, “Who then, is the greatest in the reign of the heavens?”   2  And YaHUShA called a little child to Him, set him in their midst,  3  and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become as little children, you shall by no means enter into the reign of the heavens.  4 “Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the reign of the heavens.  5  “And whoever receives one little child like this in My Name receives Me.  6  “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it is better for him that a millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Children are far more accepting, than adults, they have a far more resistant ear.  Yes the little ones, are as a pure clean glass, waiting to be filled with something, – that something was Abba’s Truth.  Train up a child in the way they should go and they will never depart thereof.

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go,  Even when he is old he turns not away from it.

As a child, I needed assurance to set me in stead, to accept how much our Awesome Jesus rescues us out of this cold world.

Galatians 1:3 – 4   3  Favour to you and peace from Elohim the Father and our Master YaHUShA Messiah,  4  who gave Himself for our sins, to deliver us out of this present wicked age, according to the desire of our Elohim and Father,

He sees everything, knows everything about us and knew our names before we were created.  He does not have favourites either, NOT AT ALL.  He named all the stars!  How many billions upon trillions of starts are there?  He called us by name.

2 Chronicles 16:9  “For the eyes of YaHUaH diligently search throughout all the earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is perfect to Him.

Hebrews 4:13   And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all are naked and laid bare before the eyes of Him with whom is our account.

Jeremiah 1:5   “Before I formed you in the belly I knew you, and before you came out of the womb I did set you apart – ….

Ephesians 1:4  even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be set-apart and blameless before Him in love,

Romans 2:11  For there is no partiality with Elohim.

Isaiah 43:1  and  4    1  But now, thus said YaHUaH, your Creator, O Ya’aqob,  (Jacob) and He who formed you, O Yisra’el, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you are Mine.     ….     4  “Since you were precious in My eyes, you have been esteemed, and I have loved you.  And I give men in your place, and peoples for your life.

Psalm 147:3 – 4   3  He heals the broken-hearted And binds up their wounds.  4  He appoints the number of the stars,  He gives names to all of them.

Psalm 34:18  YaHUaH is near to the broken-hearted,  And saves those whose spirit is crushed.

Many horrible things the righteous go through, but no matter what, Abba delivers us out of all these situations.  I want to write a few more scriptures down for you and will be sharing much more.  Build yourself up in your faith by the scriptures.  Reading, repeating, memorising and most of all live them.  Keep referring to them, even if it takes a while to write them on the tablets of your heart.

Psalm 34:19  Many are the evils of the righteous,  But YaHUaH delivers him out of them all.        [ ONE of my favourite scriptures ]

It takes time to restore healing in relationships re: brokenness, hurt, abuse and so forth.  I spoke very briefly about forgiveness  Forgiveness – seven times seventy  I have not written what forgiveness does for yourself.  It is actually empowering to know the benefit.  (In my Part III of this subject  Abuse, emotional and physical)   I would like to explain the liberty of forgiveness!  It EMPOWERS.

Don’t be enslaved and hooked up in a ‘bunch of lies’.  You will go around and around the mountain in a circle, instead of climbing the mountain, step by step with the assistance of the Set-apart Spirit.  He will lead you and guide you into all TRUTH.

I will close here with a thought, about returning to enslavement of the enemy’s captivity.  It is very difficult to keep out of entrapment if you don’t continue to focus on the now, the being set free.  The working out of your chains, throwing out the lies and darkness from your inner most being.  Challenge yourself and say,  “I am more than an overcomer through YaHUShA Messiah

Romans 8:37   But in all this we are more than overcomers through Him who loved us.

Romans 8:31  What then shall we say to this?  If Elohim is for us, who is against us?



20190605_141438-41123865959527343770.0     photo:  unknown


photo:  unsplash.com


Psalm 10:17 – 18    17  YaHUaH, You have heard the desire of the lowly ones;  You prepare their heart;  You incline Your ear,  18  To defend the fatherless and the downtrodden;  So that man who is of the earth no longer oppresses!



photo”  unsplash.com


Rejection and ONE who loves

Abuse, emotional and physical Part I

Abuse, emotional and physical III

He loves you !







9 thoughts on “Abuse, emotional and physical Part II

  1. Oh, my!!! I can see your little face sitting in the darkness of night in that car, motherless. I thank Abba for your light that shines before men and your testimony and ability to share the Good News with men.
    Love, love! Powerful teaching!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No matter what you have been through, Thank you Alex for sharing. HE will never let you go through more than you are able to. Today 60yrs later, it has made me strong to love and serve by sharing this blog. Take heart for YaHUShA has overcome the world!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amen

        Sometimes no matter how much love surrounds me there are times I feel so isolated riding the endless roller coaster.

        Vowed that I will never surrender to the Storm I rather give everything I got standing then be shattered to my knees saying I Quit !



      2. It seems there is no end, after 60yrs, there is at last an understanding why? !! He will show you all things. In our weakness He has made us strong! He will never leave you nor forsake you. You will receive your reward in heaven.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Alex, thank you for sharing. He will never allow us to endure more than we are able. These times, bring us closer to YaHUaH. YaHUShA said take courage for I have overcome the world! There is coming your time of release – the captive will be set free.

      Liked by 1 person

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